Curiosities on the eve of EDSA I

Curious how passion fuels my learning experience in life.
Curious how others can lead a life sans passion.
Curious how mediocrity tantamountly exists around me.
Curious how low I have to sink to accept certain truths.
Curious how some dreams become reality.
Curious how love make them come true.
Curious how some of them eventually fade.
Curious how I still feel this way.

Its a relief to realize these curiosities wouldn't kill me.

----

Thursday. An unexpected visit to alma mater. Unload. Unleash. Let go. Let go. Accept. Swallow. Drink. Peace.

Whew. I had trouble sleeping that night. I think its the rising tropical temperature of the skies. Darn I can't open the windows at night (nor during the day), lest bloodsuckers would invade my tranquil solace.

Friday. I was supposed to watch a movie. Glad I did not. I felt liberated from the chains of humanity (see in transito... sorry for those who don't grasp italian). That badminton game was not bad. It did release some tense muscles. I saw two cool looking loligo pealeii too! (that's squid to you) :-D Its a welcome scenario change. Interesting how conscious they can get when you look at them. They can't swim properly. Hahaha... Sayang, would have enjoyed interacting with the pealeii if I had the luxury of time.

It's nice to be home. I guess, I missed home a lot. Then there was the sunset. That ball of fire definitely emits a certain hypnotic energy. I was watching a nice film on dvd but I was more captured by the majesty of the sun. I remember somebody asking me to watch with her the sun as it sets. (okay... cheesy na...) hahaha...

I think I'll forever associate that thought with the sunset.

----

I saw "Before Sunset" on video. It's much like its prequel but there's more twist to the story. Man, and Julie Delpy really sings well. Para akong hinehele habang pinakikinggan ko ung kanta nya. Astig talaga.

----

It is hard to live the present moment better than the past. It means that improvement and maturity always has to take place every single second. Suntok sa buwan. But it takes small steps like this one. (see below).

FIGMENT OF MY MIND

Throughout all these years
The while was worth something
In reality there was nothing
Why was I fragile for you warmth

Everyday I open my eyes and I dream
The sun rises by your side
Is this true? I am blue
There's fire under the bridge to you

There's no way I could reach you
Ways through mud and rain I've exhausted
And through thorny paths I'm wounded
The scars of the past should heal the pain

It's just a distant dream you and I
There's no way I can reach you
There's fire under the bridge to you
Why was I fragile for your warmth

Climb Every Mountain

Yup. I did accept the invitation of OCMI to join their open climb at Mt. Daguldol last week. It was a blast! See the pictures of Pon and of Joyce. You'll see the tattoo specially made for that weekend trip. Nice.

I guess I miss the thrill of the unknown. Like where is this trail leading me to or how far is it still to my destination. The climb gave me a sense of detachment in life. It made me a re-realization that I'm still in full control of my life but then it is still Him who leads me to my destination.

A mountain trek can be compared to a physical "short time" manifestation of our life's journey. The lead shows the way. If you get ahead of the lead, well, it's your gamble. Just like in life, we can always opt to be so egoistic that we know everything or we would always know where to go until we find out that we got lost, didn't see the track signs, or we find ourselves in deep shit. I myself always have this strong urge to go ahead of the lead because sometimes I'd like to trek faster. Patience is really a virtue. Realizing that it is for my own good and out of respect for the lead of the group, I was able to complete the whole experience without having a scratch. Again, it's different how to practice this in real life.

There are a lot of things that one can learn in a climb. Respect for mother nature, respect for future generations, trust, camaraderie, patience, resourcefulness, prudence, etc. etc. But I'm not here to point this out.

I enjoy mountaineering but I don't know if I'd really be a mountaineer. I'd probably join more climbs especially if there are these beautiful beaches at the foot of the mountain. So guys, keep those invitations coming!

Life is a journey and we must conquer every mountain.

random

Man, I messed up again. Again?! Can you believe it? Can't your coconut learn from mistakes once? Do you really have to have a repeat performance? Inasmuch as I would like to shout profanities, i guess reason, love, and well being edit my words. I wonder what goes on in my subconscious.

It's funny how i had had random thoughts surface while taking a bath. thoughts about life in general. i normally take a bath before sleeping. to wash down the dirt stuck to my skin before sleeping (rubbing with a face towel doesn't work for me), to relax my muscles after my regular workout, it's like a nightcap for me.

Yesterday was different. I was hoping that the water would wash down all my thoughts. I wanted peace. Why is it that I can't have it when I want to have it? I am really allergic to this feeling. Some people like it when they lurk in the dark. Hell, I don't. I want to be where the sun is shining brightly. I want to be happy. I need to be happy. I wish I can be like harry and enchant me with a happiness spell that has a long lasting effect.

Oh well, I cannot finish this blog. Hafta leave. Must live the present moment.

I hate random thinking...

in transito

halala.... sto nel tram di nuovo. in transito. dove vado? li o la? non si capisce cosa vuole. non capisco cosa voglio. arrrgghhh! a tu per tu. tu che stai al pico nella scurità. rimango qui sognando per un chance nella chiarezza.

ieri sono rimasto in attesa del tuo arrivo. peró sei malatto, o no? inoltre quello, volevo incontrare un'altra amica ma era proprio occupata. che gioia veramente. l'unica cosa che farrei è noncurare i miei amici.

quella malatto volevo dare latte calda e alcuni biscotti. siccome siamo messi in accordo che rimaniamo nello stato che siamo ora, non ho fatto nulla. Pero come vorrei occuparsi di lei! Devo stringermi di non farlo con tanta forza. Se no, sicurissimo sono che sia annalizza sbagliatamente. Poi si aumenta lo spazio. Oh Dio. Che faccio?!

Poi da chiederti un'altra cosa. Come mai sono quelle che voglio bene devono crescere sempre nella maturità? magari questa è una stigma essendo un gen. ora mai che siamo già cresciuti tanto nella nostra spiritualità e maturità che ci troviamo in una situazione sempre in cerca di una persone proprio fatta per noi. una persone che ha una livello di testa che puo capire la grandezza di Gesù Abbandonato e di Gesù in mezzo. La nostra Ideale.

Sono sicuro che ogni gen realizzata nella sua scelta tiene tanto amore nel suo cuore, e aspetta di darlo a tutti quanti che incontra. poi se si è chiamatta al matrimonio, più che no, diventerà un forno d'amore che continua esprimere questa realtà d'unità nella famiglia che costruisce.

torno di nuovo alla domanda. perché mi succede queste cose? Devo rimanere un megliore amico per loro? O c'è di più?

Liberami nella catena dell'umanità. Consentirmi ad amarti in lei senza i muri. Ti voglio bene. Sei tu l'unico mio bene. Cosa posso fare tranne amarti con tutto il mio essere.

Ti amo.

girls of indigo

i can't get enough of this song. the lyrics and the melody are separate works of art. put them together and you achieve a masterpiece. three cheers to the indigo girls! they're just fantastic and a delight to my ears.

LOVE WILL COME TO YOU

Guess I wasn’t the best one to ask
Me myself with my face pressed
Up against love’s glass
To see the shiny toy I’ve been hoping for
The one I never could afford
The wide world spins and spits turmoil
And the nations toil for peace
But the paws of fear upon your chest
Only love can soothe that beast
And my words are paper tigers
No match for the predators of pain inside her

I say love will come to you
Hoping just because I spoke the words that they’re true
As if I offered up a crystal ball to look through
Where there’s now one there will be two

I was born under the sign of cancer
(love will come to you)
Like brushing cloth I smooth the wrinkles for an answer
(love will come)
I’m always closing my eyes and wishing I’m fine
(I close my eyes and wish you fine)
Even though I know I’m not this time
(even though I know your not this time)

I say love will come to you
Hoping just because I spoke the words that they’re true
As if I offered up a crystal ball to look through
Where there’s now one there will be two

Dodging your memories a field of knives
Always on the outside looking in on other’s lives

I say love will come to you
Hoping just because I spoke the words that they’re true
As if I offered up a crystal ball to look through
(I have offered up to you)
Where there’s now one there will be two

And I wish her insight to battle love’s blindness
Strength from the milk of human kindness
A safe place for all the pieces that scattered
Learn to pretend there’s more than love that matters

abu blues

i have this big urge to write something really long about the tragedy that happened last monday. but i just don't have enough time to compose my thoughts. basically, i just want to declare that:

you can't conquer the killer with a bullet.

what's best is to shower the felon with lotsalove. real love. and that would teach abu a lesson he'll never forget.

yun lang po. peace bro.

rain

yesterday and today it rained. weird. had to bike home with a slight drizzle. it wasn't supposed to rain during winter (aka tag-lamig). but it did. and it brought out a lot of stuff out of the grey box. rain makes me nostalgic. rain makes me wonder and think. i associate rain with so much things that they keep popping out of my mind uncontrollably. on my way home, as the (contaminated) water droplets hit the lens of my spectacles, i thought of special somebody. i'm not telling who it is! :p but it did help create that poem before this blog.

i still dream of kissing somebody out in the rain. oh well ...

must kiss

here's to valentines. doesn't have anything to do with it really, and neither does lovapalooza which would take place tomorrow. i hope the text is legible. thanks to veer for the images. they're really fantastic.

wooo hooo!!!

Love is in the air. Daw. I haven't got the virus yet. Is it malaria or bonaria? Wait & see.
---
I am in love with life. The music on the radio just reinforces this feeling. How much suffering and happiness is involved, I don't know. I just see everything as the Love of God. Ohh... I think this February fever has really touched my spiritual side.
---
Antagal ni ate Norah!!!! ate ko ba siya, teka teks.... I think we're about the same age, and she's doing a lot of things that I would have done if I'm a music artist. a world tour.... fund raising concerts for the needy.... a very cool group.... and still has so much ahead of her. Oh well, norah.... NORAH!!!

Pero, il prezzo del suo concerto sta nel cielo! Che pensanno gli organizatori di lei, siamo una paese ricca? Cavolo. Speriamo, pero, che andrà benissimo. Intanto ho già comprato due biglietti. Insomma, non si sa che cosa succederà... solo Lui.... Lui!!! L'unico mio bene!

mag-bike na kasi kayo!

"It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you will have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by a bicycle."

- Ernest Hemingway, By-Line

archibald

hey archi freaks! thanks to emong sih i got to know this very cool comic strip just made right smartly for us archi freaks! hehehe... it is archibald and he has his own set of relationships which definitely most of us can relate to. there's gerald the engineer, fred the contractor and charlotte, archibald's wife. so click on the link and be happy.

if there's one thing at work that i'm looking forward to, that is to read the archibald comic strip. we need humor at work, you know. :)

here he is!

juanito!

You're John Lennon!
Your funny,talkative and very outgoing. You love to speak your mind in a world you may not think is right.

Which Beatle are you? (pics)

ako daw si juanito.

well, i remember when i was still an undergraduate student somebody told me so. with my semi round spectacles and the long hair.

hmm... i 'd probably share you my tribute to the guy. when it was illegal to vandal dorm properties, i painted the back of my cabinet with a stylized image of his, i like horses too, so i did one from my imagination but it was unfinished. just forget how i posed in the picture. effects lang yan. hehe... after many dormers saw what i did to my cabinet, they followed suit. talk about setting a good example. it's better than the vandalism that you see on the streets anyway. and the MMDA's art is far cry.

i also like how the guy treats the world. he got many others to follow is views too. it must be the charisma. the only thing skwaking about this guy is his relationship with yucky ono. hehe... man, she looks more of a man than him. hahaha!

Bike to Work (part 2)

In general, I enjoy biking and it gives me more of the good stuff than the negative reasons that all the caring people around tell me so as not to. In fact I enjoy it so much that I encourage my friends to do the same. If you need more material regarding biking, there are lots on the internet, and what they say is true!

Biking may seem dangerous but driving in the Philippines is! One just has to be defensive enough on the streets to survive the daily travel. I don't actually see this as something negative for I always have been the adventurous type. Safety doesn't become an issue. Pollution-wise, you could always buy a mask to remedy that. There's a fashionable black one that looks really cool!. If you don't like sweating in the morning before arriving to work, you could always go to work earlier so that your bike cadence is a bit slower and so you could wash up a bit before putting on that starched business attire. Luckily we don't have a dress code in the office.

Biking also gave me more time to sleep or stay up late at night because my travel time has been cut by 75%. If you live 4-6 km from work, chances are you'd be saving that much time for travelling too. If you live 7-12 km get to save travel time by 25%. If you live from 12-20 km from work, you might have the same travel time like you commuted to work with traffic, but then you don't get that endorphine rush that gets you going in the morning if you did nothing the whole trip!

Biking also makes you feel healthy since you are burning calories more! I always had a small frame but now I feel way healthier than I used to. I got to put extra muscles on my thighs and hamstrings and calves. I'm dreaming of having those powerful hard cut leg lines that Lance Armstrong has. For those who would want to save money, yes, I do save a couple of bucks here and there when I bike. It's not much since I live so near my workplace, but then it definitely saves me money from going to the gym just to get that cardio exercise. For those who bring their own car to work, you'd definitely save a lot of money from fuel, car maintenance, parking fee and towing fee! When the price of crude oil constantly escalating, biking becomes an excellent alternative. Cycling for car ownerns is also a way to lessen the volume of traffic and also helps the environment by reducing the gas emissions. You don't have to have a very expensive bike to enjoy the road. The ones they sell in the mall for 3000 bucks is enough to go around.

Right now it feels like biking is too hard a sell but one has to experience it to actually realize its value!

Anyway, this is just a short story of how biking has affected my life. Definitely in the future, if money allows, I'm seriously considering a profession in cycling. Ok I'll be realistic. Maybe a hardcore enthusiast will do. I'd probably go cross country with it! I'm talking about island hopping! Imagine all the good places to see it their beauty slowly unfolding at a pace where it can be fully appreciated!

There's still much to write but I guess this is enough for now. So I'm able to penetrate my message to you, please don't hesistate and start cycling!

By the way, always travel with a helmet no matter how short your travel may be. This bike gear would actually save all that hard work you invested for knowledge and intelligence in case you fly from the saddle!

Bike to Work (part 1)

It all started because there was this stagnant mountain bike at home (Tagaytay). It was always standing next to the staircase and I see it when I eat at our dining room. It was also blocking my clear view of our stairs (not that I really need one). For months of standing there, the tires went flat and no one dared to fill it up with air. Also since the terrain of Tagaytay is so hilly, no one dared to ride it. One day it seemed that it was shouting to me to use it. So this wild idea came to put this piece of equipment into good use. And with all the daringness that is befitting of a punx, I asked my Tatay to haul the bike to Makati.

And there it was. It still took some time for me to start riding the bicycle. I was still assessing the pros and cons of biking. At the same time, I was simulating ala Abet in my mind the scenarios that would be to and from work while biking. I realized that nothing that I simulated actually happened but then it helped me plan my first time on the saddle.

So what happened on my first ride? I immediately noticed that there are a lot of drivers who don't give a damn that cyclists exist (or even pedestrians for that matter). The next thing most noticable was there's still a lot of vehicles blowing black smoke from their rears. Man, where the hell are those MMDA's who's supposed to fine the people for their unmaintained vehicles? They even had this text program. TXT USOK <space> plate number <space> vehicle type <space> location (and send to 2399 for Globe subscribers). Heck, I think I already deleted this template since I didn't see it work anyway. Talk about empowering the citizenry!

Of course the "uneducated pedestrians" exist also in the city of Makati where circulation is better planned than the other cities of the metro. They still cross the street anywhere they like even when the pedestrian crossing lanes are well kept. During my first month of biking, I almost run through a pedestrian because of the fact that he didn't look both ways before crossing the street. Thanks to my super powered brake pads, I was able to stop a couple of inches from hitting him, but I think I performed a MI:2 stunt doing so! Remember T.Cruise on his black Triumph bike and making a stunt by braking his front wheels and maneuvering the rear of the bike (which was on air - like a reverse wheelie) to make a quick 180 degree turn. At least that's how it felt then. I pressed the brake lever so hard that the rear of the bike lifted! After a couple of hours pondering what happened that morning, lessons from physics class came back. I remembered collisions, momentum and inertia, 2nd law of Newton, etc... wondering what could have happened if I actually hit that pedestrian because of his stupidity.

I bike to work at least twice a week. And with all the trips that I made, I got to know better the streetscape of Makati. I never noticed them when I was commuting. I got acquainted with all the one way traffic areas, almost all the parts where there are pot holes, what road to squeeze into when the traffic jam is pretty thick. I started to see Makati in a different way. Last December was the most beautiful time to bike. With the cool state of weather and all the lights that the Ayala's put to make Makati beautiful, it was interesting to see and experience all these things at a slower (bike) pace.

For six months now, I've also noticed that I was able to bike to work without having to break a sweat. Most probably, my body's cardiovascular endurance improved to the length of the trip so that I wouldn't have to wash up a lot when I reach the office building. Earlier this year, I decided to try something more. Jing (my friend, officemate and who also is a bike enthusiast) bikes sometimes from his home in quezon city to the office. One day I decided to join him going back to QC and back to the office the next day. It was quite an experience worthy of another blog entry so I'll leave it at that.