Capelli

I have a reason to believe that all of us keep signs and symbols of anything representing something interesting or important in our life. Some of us also keep immaterial representations, like an idea or an event; but most of us keep material ones. Say for example, keepsakes (stuff toys, flowers, what have you) from special someones as symbols of love for the other.

I kept one for myself. I will not directly declare what it was for everybody saw it with me. I kept it for a few months. For others it may seem to be just an expression of myself or an immitation of a famous foreign stint. Instead it was a symbol "perfetto" for me.

It represented something I held most dear, something of immense value. Although it was unknown to me that it held meaning, after a couple of months of tending did it dawn to me that it held significance much more than its physical manifestation.

It represented suffering, mine. A masochist I am not. I knew this is a suffering of love for my neighbor. This is the life that I lead. I was given this phrase to live for my life.

"That there is no greater love than to lay one's life for his friends."

Most difficult. To continuously deny oneself for another. To be nothing for the other to be everything. During those moments, these words were bestow meaning to that symbol, and the longer I kept it, the intensity of that suffering increases. A meaningful suffering. When I am nothing, I am.

How much to I have to endure this? How much do I have to suffer for a friend?

I no longer keep that symbol. I've cut it off. Thrown it down the drain. It does not mean that I suffer no more. It only means that I'm over keeping symbols.

So what's my resolve to the matter at hand?

Until the end. For my Ideal is my only Good.